Spent Friday night with one of my long-time friends. She and I are both pretty big bookies, and had a conversation about how sometimes we go through these phases of starting book after book and never finishing them (at least, not in a normal time frame). Between us, we listed some dozen books we'd started within the last year and not yet finished. My list includes:
Don't Shoot the Dog
Be Different
A Year in the World
The Eyre Affair
Tales for an Unknown City
Ireland
The Hobbit
Free Play
Her list was similar in length and variety. Now, I've always been one to have several books in the works at once. After all, I can never be sure what I'll be in the mood for reading - history, fantasy, biographical-esque, non fiction, travel...the list could go on a while. But it is unusual for me to start books and not get back to them after a few chapters.
Enter Saturday. A different friend called at the last minute and asked if we might get together. Also an avid reader, we found ourselves talking books. I shared with her this discontenting realization that I am currently a book whore - - reading a lot, but not committing even to old favorites. She asked how long this had been happening. A month? No, longer. Since school started? No, longer. Since your summer? No, longer. Since last summer? Hum, closer it feels, but longer yet. Finally came down to being a book whore since spring of 2011. Daunting.
Why? Some self reflection brought to my attention that it coincides with my attempt to fit into society's mold of the twenty-something. Find a good job. Check. Get engaged. Check. Get married and settle down forever and have a family and commit to all those who are not one with you. Ummm...wait, what?
No longer engaged, still in good job, but something still hasn't quite clicked back in. However, having found a place for my next two years that I can truly feel excited about, I find I am being drawn back into my books. Though like any junkie recovering it will probably take time to find my focus and my commitment, and I'm sure of various setbacks, I am healing and growing stronger, more joyous about what the future holds for me, and excited to continue down the unexpected path.
In the meantime, did I mention I am on day 281 of playing my fiddle? Last night I hit my third goal of 280 days. New goal of 379 days. Just a year didn't seem adequate.
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