It is always an enlightening process to make advances in an area of practice. I've been playing long enough to know that set backs are a part of the game, and not to take them too close to heart, but it is still a difficult and often frustrating process to work through. Recently I've found I'd made great strides in relaxing and releasing into the music. It had, in a wonderful way, become a meditative experience; no thoughts, pure moment. A beautiful way to spend an afternoon or evening.
Two lessons in, focusing on refining some bits of my playing, and I feel as if I've taken an enormous leap backwards. As I play now, I find myself in a constant state of thought, working on bowing, ornaments, emphasis. The concentration is constant. And the concentration is definitely being a set back in the meditative and releasing feeling. It takes great effort to move forward in the details I'm working on while releasing into the music concurrently. As of yet, this is a rare, rare occurrence. I know it will come back, given time and practice, but it is difficult to balance the need for growth with the desire for letting go. Had a glimpse Monday night as I looped the sections of Roscommon Reel played by Randal...over time I found myself sinking into the comfort of the sound, releasing the expectations and enjoying the music, the feel of the vibrations, the meditative quality of the sounds. It has been a leap back, but I believe several steps forward are on the near horizon.
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