Seeking the Small Spaces

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about Time.  More specifically, Time for your Self, Time to renew the energy drain that comes from interacting with other people, being at work, studying, taking care of others.  Often in this age it can be difficult to find Time.  Demands on where we are, who we are with, and what we are doing, make for a constant spin of days, weeks, months, even years of motion.  Many of us have forgotten, by choice or by force, what it means to Take Time.  And many more of us are suffering for it.

How does society respond?  We make Taking Time into a money making scheme.  Don't get me wrong, I think the idea of going on a retreat with a like-minded group of people in which we are all seeking ways to simplify our lives is great.  To be honest, I enjoy the experience of that setting.  Even if I don't immediately connect with another person in the group, I connect with my Self and the grand Universe.  Sometimes I get ideas on how I view my world, or go forth with an unexpected gain in my Self.  I feel I come out better for having shared in that experience of paid retreat.

Here we have Time, the most expensive, monetary-free commodity that any of us have to do with what we will, and we are willing to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars for someone else to take charge of our Time and "give" us Time for our Selves.  Does anyone else see the irony here?

So in lieu of spending timeandmoney to attend a retreat right now, I have embarked on a journey into Small Spaces.  With all that I need to get done in a seemingly limited amount of time, I realized that I was not allowing my Self space to actually Take Time.  I moved to Ireland with plans to take advantage of as many opportunities as presented themselves.  My first month here, I traveled every weekend.  I attended as many sessions as I could find, explored the city, went to classes, joined clubs.  My calendar was so booked I forgot to allow space to process all my experiences.  Running from one activity to the next, planning the next outing before I finished the one I was currently experiencing, taking photos to help remember so the moment I looked back (likely months later) I could recreate the time, I was so disjointed from the moments, the special places, the here and now, that I was experiencing my Self to exhaustion.  It wasn't until I had a night planned to attend my so-far-favorite session and instead fell asleep by 9pm that I realized if I'm actually going to enjoy my Time, I need to be present in the moments and be present after the moments to appreciate the experience.

After several lengthy journal entries on Time, Space, Awareness, and Self, I am seeking out then relaxing into the Small Spaces.  I still have a lot on my plate.  I still have articles and books to read for my courses.  I still have places I want to travel to, sessions I want to play in, stores I want to shop at, and restaurants I want to try.  Within all those experiences, there are Small Spaces tucked into the corners: five minute breaks from reading that essay or chapter, the wait for the bus or train or plane, time before tunes begin, moments between placing an order and receiving the meal.  In these Small Spaces rests the Time for my Self, the Time to process, to figure out what has happened, and to plan what happens next.  I don't need to significantly change my plans or my schedule, I simply need to recognize the Small Spaces, seek them out of the general milieu and allow my Self to take advantage of their presence.