Happy

Typically I find this time of year quite stressful.  The change in season, the change in schedule, the change in daylight...all these changes often hit me hard.  Although this particular spring-into-summertime has had its share of stressful events (both created and imposed), I find I am happier than I've been a while.  A long while.  And significantly happier.  Like since living-breathing-eating-sleeping Ireland happy.  There are many plausible explanations to my new found happiness: successful completion of my yoga teacher training, looking forward to new summer travels, finding myself in the single life (and loving it!), just generally having more life experience under my belt, completion of my fourth year teaching. But I feel that the one aspect that has made the most significant change: embarking on 63 days of tunes.

As I've mentioned, 63 days was an arbitrary number I came up with by simply drawing a calendar that looked like "enough" then counting how many days I drew.  As I come to complete week 5 I am more and more convinced that playing everyday has set my heart free again.  What could have been a task is instead a part of my day I look forward to with eager anticipation ("when will I get to pick up my fiddle!?").  Occasionally I must set a timer to make sure I reach my minimum of 20 minutes - usually when I'm tired and haven't had a moment to myself all day - but it is more often a timer so that I force myself to stop to do something I need to.  Like sleep.  Or buy groceries.  I've put off buying food because I sat down to play instead at least three times since this started.  I used tunes as a motivation to get my grades on: finish one class, take a 5 minute tune break.  If I get upset about something at work, I try to take a moment and grab my fiddle for a few tunes.  Daily tunes has become a sanctuary of escape for me to absorb the happiness.  I would recommend looking for happiness as a True Believer to anyone.

Time Will Tell - - Halfway

Although I'm not real sure what to write tonight, I felt I ought to mark the occasion with a short post before bed.  I have completed the halfway point to my 63 days.  My fingers have a solid callus - one as such I haven't had since I was living in Ireland and playing every day there - and my fiddle has (relatively) new strings.  These week has been a lot of playing with session recordings.  I have loved when I have been able to identify a tune name in a set (one set I even had ALL the names, some from recently acquiring, some from past memory).  More and more tunes are tending to pop out without names.

This week also saw an official "deactivation" of my facebook account.  Seemingly a small thing, cutting cold turkey is a little strange.  Some of my usual patterns have been thrown out of whack, such as coming home and checking the "news" via the recent update feed.  The decision has been floating in my head a while now, but it finally clicked as the right thing to do when some recent message drama went down.  I don't need that stress in my life at this point (or...at any point?) and so I left.  It is weird now, but I have a feeling a part of me will come to like it.  I'm also getting the sense that if/when I do reactivate the account, I will be on it much less frequently. Time will tell.

Time will also tell how long I'll keep my continuous fiddling up.  Halfway point.  Doesn't really feel like it's been that many consecutive days, which I'm taking as a good sign.  It hardly ever feels like work, and when it does, it's that enjoyable work that brings a high level of satisfaction and accomplishment at the end.

I did have an unusual experience playing last night.  I was feeling frustrated (FB messages) and was playing my heart out, windows wide open to let the 75* breeze waft through.  Working through a set of reels, I got to Humours of Bolton Street (end of the set with Wish I Never Saw You and Piper on Horseback), someone outside the window gave a hand.  I think it was my neighbour who goes out and smokes (that I've slammed my window shut on more than once), as he was the only being that I could see, but can't be sure.  Not sure what my neighbours think; not sure how often they do hear.  I'm not worried about disturbing them, but it's just interesting pondering.

And to all my avid readers (lol)....signing off!  Have a fantastic Memorial Day weekend if you're Stateside!

Rolling in the Ryegrass

So completes day 29 of 63 days of tunes.  Four solid weeks down, five solid weeks to go.  Some days have been just barely enough for me to consider blacking out my calendar, others have been hours at a time (I figure these make up for the days I squeak out just barely 20 minutes).  I feel like I might be hitting a wall sometimes, but usually once I start listening and playing, I realize "nope, no wall, this is fantastic."

This week I let many tunes that I'd sorted out the last three weeks marinade.  Some of them have stuck better than others.  Some have morphed into tunes I was not expecting (these are the "tunes that popped out" for this week's list).  Some I can start at the beginning, some I have to start at a key area of the melody before I can find the beginning.  Some I honestly do have the name attached!  Some I have a name attached but I have to play "The One Before" before I can play "The One After."  The ones that really puzzle me are the ones I have recorded after that I play to get to the one before.  But it works out.

I also started going through age old recordings from January of my time in Ireland....working slowly through 1621 files (according to a quick iTunes highlight).  I was excited on one set when I could name all of the tunes Sean O'Driscoll played one afternoon at Charlie's.  I didn't have to put any into Tunepal to remember their names.

Ultimately, this endeavor is rolling, rolling, rolling along.  I have burned the CD of tunes for Boxwood we've all shared via email (Ingrid, l'autre Amy, Florence, and Rebecca).  Some of the tunes are beautiful, some I may not make a huge effort to learn, but they might pop out after a month of listening to them in my car.

I've also started a playlist of the "top 75 recorded tunes" that Dave sent me.  I figure if they're in the top recorded, they're probably well known by players somewhere.  The list is too long for one CD, but something else to work at these next 34 days.  Which really doesn't seem that long at all to continue rolling.

Ishvara Pranidhara:Surrender

Remember those times you got so caught up in what you were doing that an entire afternoon whizzed by without you even completely realizing it?  Being in the flow, disappearing into the moment, submersing yourself in the action you are taking - - allowing for total surrender into the Self - - it is a magical and spiritual place to be.  I have been blessed to have sunk into the peace of the Now with more and more regularity these last weeks.

This weekend we celebrated our final days as Yoga Teacher Trainers, to surrender one piece of our life in order to find our next Self To Come.  Our ceremony was simple, beautiful, and moving.  A short walk over rose petals, a bell to awaken, water to cleanse, rice for sustenance, flowers for perfume, light for our path, and a beautiful bindi we all wore with a sense of pride.  I felt enveloped in the purity of the moment we shared with each other, our teachers, our family, and our Selves.  I am utterly thankful for the time I was granted these last months to spend with this Yoga Family, through our joys and our struggles, to grow further into my own sense of Self.

This weekend also concluded my third week of playing and began week four.  Our Niyama for this month of yoga was Ishvara Pranidhara, or surrender.  This crossed so beautifully into my music - - I have promised myself twenty minutes (or more) to play each day, and as I find myself picking up my fiddle, I slip so easily into the notes.  As the tunes wash over my fingerboard, I loose myself in the instant, coming out only enough to find the next tune (which may or may not come out as expected).  Although sometimes it is difficult to tuck in a few minutes to play, as soon as I start, I can surrender my day to itself and find my heart, my love, in the music.  More than once I have found myself so entirely wrapped up in the moment that I have lost track of time and open my eyes to find an hour or more has passed, not the twenty minutes I planned on giving my Self.  In this realization, I smile and open my heart to the power of the music, the power of the surrender.